I'm Alive! (But Uncle Ho isn't!)

It's a miracle! I managed to fly without my ear exploding, there wasn't even a trickle of blood coming out of it! Bit of an anticlimax actually! I have to admit I was pretty nervous sitting on the runway, not really because of my annoying pressurised ear but because we were flying with the classy Vietnam Airlines. Now that's a name to put the fear in any flyer! I think I'd have had more confidence in Air Khasakstan!

Before we left Hoi An I bought a suit. Now I know there was a very good chance it would turn out to be a piece of junk, but at 20 pounds it was worth the risk. Since I'm shit with anything to do with fashion or clothes quality (let's be honest, my fashion sense consists of looking out for anything that has the words Cymru or Wales on it!) I still don't know whether I've just chucked 20 pounds down the drain or if I'm in possession of the most classy suit in the known universe!

Now I know that I've mentioned the Vietnamise driving before, but it just keeps getting worse and worse! In Hoi An the horn is king. At home the horn has one meaning - "watch where you'r going you prat!" - and is only used in extreme circumstances.
In Hoi An the horn has many meanings "I'm about 200 metres behing you" - "I'm in a bigger car than you so move it" - "I'm turning at the next junction" - "do you want a taxi ride" are just some of them.
My favirotes though are the "I'm driving round this blind corner on the wrong side of the road so watch out" and the most common, the "I'm going to/in the middle of/just finished ovetaking you". Since this horn is used everytime a car/bus/lorry/motobike/pedal bike passes any other vehicle/bike or pedestrian it's pretty much pressed continiously for the whole journey! The noise on the streets is just staggering, there's so many horns they just drown each other out!

Of course, when we hired pedal bikes for the day (for 33p!) I was more than ready to copy them and rang my little bell at every opportuinty! I can't say that anyone heard it, let alone took notice, but in Vietnam that's no reason to stop ringing it!

The taxi driver to the airport loved using his horn, and what a great driver he was! When he came up behind a clearly drunken moto driver who was swaying over the road with no headlight, he decided to switch his own lights off. The drunk drove blind for a few seconds and missed a group of pedestrians by a few centimetres - our driver laughed his head off!

To be fair to Vietnam Airlines they didn't do too bad. The flight was only an hour long and they were adamant they'd do everything like a proper airline. So straight after take-off, before the plane had started to level off, it was meal time! Watching the poor stewardesses navigate the trolly down the aisle when the plane was still at a slope was better entertainment than any personal television Etihad had to offer!

So we're now in Ho Chi Min City so here's a (very) quick history lesson for you. Ho Chi Min (Uncle Ho) is the most famous Viuetnamise ever. Actually I don't think it would be too unfair to say that he's the only famous Vietnamise ever. He didn't do much during the American war, probably because he died soon after it started, but he had already done enoiugh to become the closest thing to God in Vietnam. He was the man who led their independence struggle against the French and held the first elections in Vietnam. But the South refused to take part because they knew Uncle Ho and his communists would win, that's pretty much how the American War started. Although we all know the war as the "Vietnam War" that term would mean nothing over here. Throughout history, Vietnamese people seemed to love war, they've been fighting with the Americans, french, China, Thailand, Cambodia, Japan - pretty much anyone and everyone. Peace with one country just meant they could look around for a different enemy!
Uncle Ho is still loved here, more in the North obviously. His face is on every bank note and his picture up in pretty much every building in the North. His body is on show in Hanoi for anyone to see (it was closed the day we were there though) Straight after the American war the government chganged this city's name to Ho Chi Min, the locals still seem to call it Saigon though, which is the name most foreigners know it by.

Boring history lesson over.